LoudenMouth

My Current Intentions

These days I've got these intentions or life insights (I know, I wrote about both in the Life Organizer but today I'm not sure which is which:

   

Be it instead of asking why am I being it
    Feel it rather than think it
    Do it rather than analyze why I'm going to do it

Don't commit to anything big or long term

   

 Don't belabor decisions; instead float in my    
    business, see what attracts my energy, float my
    energy into my business and follow what energizes
    me

Be on the look out for where I confuse compassion with wanting to be a nice girl everybody likes

   

Stick to a daily schedule that includes meditation
   and yoga and walking to calm my overactive
   monkey mind

Math Buddha/J. Louden

Found this today at Caroline Allen's writing blog: "My policy now: don’t think. Act. From action comes inspiration. Only then do the muses show up, line up to propel you on your way…"  I always tell students/clients that: write don't think about writing.

I've been thinking about possible creative projects more than doing them and this has utterly wore me out-- I hate being worn out!  I detest it. I find it unattractive and icky, and fascinating that it a product of my sticky washing machine mind--not the reality of say, shaping and baking bricks in the New Dehlia sun for 12 hours a day.

                                        ~~~

Which brings me to my most BIG insight - I have no idea how to receive! Oh doesn't that just piss me the hell off?  One of our Writer's Spa participants did a reading of me and she kept seeing me pushing her away saying, "No, I'm fine. Really I'm fine." I'm so flabbergasted by that: I'm strong and independent, it's totally my nature, and yet because I've never been one of those women who take care of everybody else and hover and neglect themselves AND because I'm great at asking for help, gifts, attention, compliments, I thought I was great at receiving. 

But no! I'm holding everybody (especially the Divine??) off.

                                ~~~~

Final thought:
Life waits patiently to be noticed, ever notice that?

Where Have I Been?

Tree pose on the Nisqually River with Mt. Tahoma (Rainier), the God Mountain, behind me.

The collage circle at my Kripalu workshop.













  Floating in the blue waters off Sardinia









Spelunking with Lilly near the sacred spring of Oliena













Lillian and I sharing our genetic concentration frown in Elliot Bay bookstore cafe after buying books... she spent so much time reading this summer, which makes me really happy.

It's been a terrific travel and teaching summer, for which I feel so very, very grateful: that women and men trusted me enough to come learn with me; that our friends Melinda, Claire, and John invited us to sail the Med with them; that my mom and sister invited me to Mt. Rainier ; that our family visited from the East Coast... So much gratitude... and so much heart break-- more about that in my newsletter I hope to get out this week. I've been stunned into silence -- and you know, that's not such a bad thing! 

I  miss our dialogs and hope to have something even remotely interesting to say soon-- in the meantime, I'll be posting art ramblings and who knows what else!