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Dipping? Quitting?

Seth Godin has a new book out, The Dip, reviewed brilliantly here by Andy Wibbel.

I want to read Seth's book because I'm  fascinated by the people I meet who share a blearily stunned expression while muttering, "Wait a minute. I'm living my dream and it's not all rosey. I'm still struggling. I still get burned out, disappointed or even fail! By definition, I didn't think that could happen."

As more and more of us have taken the plunge to live more authentically and to follow our hearts, thus often striking out to work for ourselves so that we don't have to cut ourselves into little pieces working for "the man," more and more of us are realizing, "Whoops, that doesn't mean happily ever after."

If you think nobody could be that naive, you'll have to call me Pollyanna because I certainly believed, FOR YEARS,  that doing what I loved for my living conveyed upon me a kind of super girl protection, which included, but was not limited to, never being bored, never burning out, and never wondering if my life had any meaning.

It took a whole lot of dips to learn that there is no Omega point! There is no place to get to. That's what makes me queasy about The Secret--to me, and this may be me, well, of course it's me, but can you see my point?-- the line of thinking in that movie enforces a "get there and get it and then live happily ever after." And if you don't? Then you didn't do it right.

Thoughts on what it is like to live your dream? Or what dips have been part of living your dream?

Now is the Time to Remember

that everything you do is sacred - Hafiz

"We live in a world of theophanies. Holiness comes wrapped in the ordinary. There are burning bushes all around you. Every tree is full of angels. Hidden beauty is waiting in every crumb. Life wants to lead you from crumbs to angels, but this can happen only if you are willing to unwrap the ordinary by staying with it long enough to harvest its treasure."
-Macrina Wiederkehr found in Rob Brezney's newsletter

Or as Dana said at one of my retreats, "If I just wait seven more seconds..."

...wait seven more seconds and hear the voice of something other than your self.
...wait seven more seconds to harvest the treasure of the ordinary.
...wait seven more seconds and feel the miracle of gravity holding you to the planet, with no effort on your part.
...wait seven more seconds and remember you are beloved.


Chattanooga - woo woo

I'm sitting in the lobby of the Bluff View Inn, waiting to meet Christine Kane - she's performing tonight and then tomorrow, I'm leading a retreat with her musical and creatively talented support. I'm all a twitter with this branching out thing - working with other women in these new ways - like Maria who supported the Sedona retreat. What might happen next?  My friend Randi who owns Green Bliss Eco Spa is begining to do corporate events and retreats--wouldn't it be cool to have her services, me talking, and Christine or Maria playing!

I'm reading The Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris, which might surprise you- I do what I love, why would I want to work less?--yet I'm discovering I'm both too scattered in my work (too many directions all at one time) and I'm working too much.  Tim's book may fall into the get rich quick category so I can't recommend you buy it just yet but the part I am loving is how his ideas are stirring me to realize that simply because I do what I love and am able to directly express my life's purpose through my work, I still need lots of breaks. Yes, this sounds ironically self-evident, especially coming for the friggin Comfort Queen, and you know what? I've been unconsciously operating from the thought that I love what I do and it helps women, so I should be doing it all the time.

Oh no, Mr. Bill.  Mr. Bill, don't hurt the Comfort Queen. She didn't realize her work was growing too big for her little body.

Stay tuned for more!

P.S.
My ovaries are all good and I so entirely love love love that you all sent me good healing!

I hope to hug one or five or ten of you this weekend. It's going to be a blast.

Am I in the Business of Self-Improvement?

I received this email this morning:

"Jennifer,

I understand the spirit and the idea behind the "freedom from self improvement" day/week, and I applaud the focus on self-acceptance. What I find a bit curious is this tag line at the top of your e-mails: "Because if self-improvement worked, we'd all be self-levitating, multi-lingual, size-zero billionaires by now."

Isn't your purpose self-improvement -- isn't that the whole focus of your books, newsletters, Web site, etc.? Don't you offer advice, encouragement, resources that are all focused on self-improvement? Don't you profit to some degree financially from getting others to focus on their own self-improvement? Isn't there something a bit conflicted, then, about promoting an entire movement that says self-improvement doesn't work???

Believe me, I completely understand you are not the only person or entity that essentially profits from focusing on self-improvement yet truly benefits when those efforts fail. Weight Watchers, to me, is a great example of that. The amount of money spent even here in my local area, week after week, weigh-in after weigh-in, is astounding. I'm atypical when it comes to Weight Watchers, though -- I made my goal weight, I've maintained my weight, I no longer go to meetings, so they no longer receive my money. The funny thing is I didn't learn a damn thing from them about maintaining weight loss or how to be the "new" me -- because not one bit of their focus in the year and a half I went to meetings was on self-improvement at all. It was about what to do to lose weight -- hey, buy this 10-week plan for only $100! Look at all these ways you can have sweets and still stay within your points range! -- not what to do once you accomplish that goal. Because few do, at least in my Illinois location. Here Weight Watchers is, plain and simple, a money-making venture. And I'm not saying that's what you're doing. But are you really wanting people to learn and improve themselves -- especially while touting that self-improvement doesn't work? Or do you just want to sell books and retreats?

Maybe I'm just too cynical. Maybe everyone really knows self-improvement doesn't work and they want someone to tell them that's okay and find others to simply commiserate with, so you're actually filling a valuable role. But I did want to share my thoughts."

I totally understand your point of view and I'll bet other readers share your concerns so thanks for taking the time to write.

I searched my heart before launching Freedom From for just that reason - would it appear cynical?             What was /is my true desire?

My ego's desire was/is, "I hope they think I'm cool and hip for thinking of this idea, and while they're at it, I hope they read my books and think they are cool and hip too!"
My ego wants attention, of course, and it always will.  It's over here preening right now.  "They're talking about me!"

My heart said/says "I want people to experience how truly okay they are right now. To touch into that peace that passes understanding. To rest. Really rest. To drink in that simple peace."

My mind (with the help of my hands) searched through my books to see how much self-improvement there is in the six buggers. I found very, very little. I found nothing written or implied that says, "Do this and you will finally be better / good enough." 

The message of my heart has perhaps have prevailed over my ego, at least in most of my writing. My books are written in the spirit of "You are okay and you can try this or this if it appeals to you but not because you need to or because it's THE answer or because then you will be good enough but because you are hurting or curious or hungry for connection with yourself or someone else..." My retreats certainly are in the same vein--even more explicitly as I grow into this awareness  myself.

What your email calls into question for me is, "What is the distinction between self-development and self-improvement?" 
                                        and
                                                            "Does self-improvement work?"

For me, the crucial distinction is mood, the mood you undertake change or learning in, the intention you hold. For example:

I can go to Weight Watchers out of a desire to love myself more through healthy food choices or to learn more about healthy food choices or to get support for making them, knowing my brain works better (frontal lobes are stimulated and oxytocin secreted in groups of women who trust each other) doing this work in the company of others 
                                                                        or
I can go to Weight Watchers in an effort to do something that will make me worth loving or to find THE ANSWER that will finally make everything okay

When I do that, I'm screwed.

I might still lose weight (especially if I'm good at will power and self-control) but it won't stay off because there is no deeper foundation of self-acceptance. Eventually, my iron will power will collapse when life gets crazy and that energy has to go elsewhere to hold something else or someone else together.

Or let's say my goal is to be closer to Source. I can do even this in a mood of "If I do this just right, then I will be lovable" but then whatever changes are wrought in me will remain a veneer on top of my heart.  And veneers pop off. I have veneers on my front teeth, which were badly damaged when I was a kid, and one popped off on Christmas day, instantly transforming me into an excellent pirate.

Thoughts? I invite your push back, your comments, "you're a big fat liar because..." thoughts - This is such an important conversation to be engaged in!

Ovaries Got Free

Seems my ovaries took the Freedom From Self-Improvement day rather literally--or rather a cyst on my left ovary did--and decided to burst. Ouch is a writhing understatement. The lingering pain finally sent me to the emergency room a day and half later but only after I heard my story for not calling my doc.

Ann (my dear friend and the dog mother Luna really wants) and I went for our usual Friday morning walk--only I was didn't walk so much as hold my belly and waddle--and she said, "Do you think you should call Jillian (my doc) given your continuing pain?"

I stopped, and while poking dog poop off the trail with a stick said, "But I didn't use the progesterone she gave me the way I was supposed to."

Ann looked at me.

I looked at Ann. (If we tell a obviously ungrounded story in the woods, and the trees hear us, do do they laugh?)

I called my doc when I got home.

I share this because it's yet another great example of how our minds construct reality in such funny ways -- and how we need lots and lots of ways (and lots and lots more self-compassion) to observe our stories and look for their grounding, especially when these stories are intertwined with big fears, big assumptions, or any part of our identity. For me, being a healthy, smart woman (i.e. one who consistently and correctly applies her hormone cream) was more important than having my health checked out.

The emergency room doc gave me a note that said I had to rest and Ann suggested we write a cartoon about:
Ebay auction item hits new record: $1.5 million, with 4 hours to go!
(Signed Doctor’s note for 10 days rest)

P.S. Reading the comments over on the FFSI blog is very nurturing.




Freedom From Self-Improvement

it was a blast and we're thinking about making it a monthly event -- and it's still going on all week with new audios and posts so don't go back to judging yourself yet!

I had so much fun accepting whatever i was doing it as I was doing it. The tele-calls were so illuminating (Deb will post links to these on the audio page sometime today if you missed then and yes, each is different).  I particularly loved seeing how much more energy and time I have when I'm not fretting over what I should be doing instead of what I actually am doing.

It made me aware, too, that desire cannot speak to us or direct us when our attention is focused on what we should be doing!

Please keep posting about how this concept is unfolding for you!

Freedom From Self-Improvement

The party's over here - and it's spreading around the world. Come over and play!

Freedom From Self-Improvement

Download your postcards then post a comment about where or how you shared them.
Selfimprovepostcards_copy

Listen to Camille Maurine and Laura Berman Fortgang.

Read my daily post on the home page - might not be up yet but soon.

Feel lighter already.

And don' forget to tell us what Day one brings for you

Too Much Learning

How could that be???

                         Read more here.

Freedom From

The word is starting to get out! Even with a stomach that feels like it wants to explode, I'm so happy to have read Adam's post -- he gets it!

Weigh in with your comments and thoughts but do it over here.

In fact, I think I'll blog there for the next two weeks and simply link over here so we can all be in one place!